2016 has basically been the equivalent of binge watching a TV series on Netflix which started pretty well, but then something went wrong. It’s like the writers have let all the alcohol and illegal substances that come with writing a hit TV show go to their head and now they are all holed up in a room trying to come up with the craziest storylines
Scriptwriter one: ”You think having Donald Trump run for President is crazy!? How about the UK having Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary!?”
Scriptwriter two: You think THAT’s crazy! I’ll make David Cameron resign and the UK will be sad to see him go!
If 2016 was a Netflix show, people would have stopped watching and it would have been cancelled. However, we can’t switch off and with season 2017 rapidly approaching it seems that plot line is going to get even crazier and the characters even more unlikeable. With the US Presidential election approaching, which may cause the world to spontaneously if Donald Trump wins, let’s briefly recap on the year:
- A country divided
Brexit has completely divided the UK. You have to be a Brexiteer or a Remoaner and if you are someone who sat on the fence and didn’t vote then you are basically looked upon as a traitor. It would have been much easier for the UK if there was a clear majority either way in favour of leaving or remaining in the EU. Say 70:30 or even 65:35. Unfortunately, we have some messed up script writers who decided 48:52 was going to be the result. A big enough margin to have Brexit win but a margin so tiny that it’s caused a huge split in the country. Kind of like when Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, you were either Team Anniston or Team Jolie, there was no middle ground.
Then it was decided the UK would be thrown into political wilderness. The day after the refrendum result London was camapigning to become separate from the rest of the UK, Scotland was demanding independence, David Cameron resigned, Nigel Farage was popping open the champagne. With an unelected PM navigating Brexit, Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary and the general population still having no clue what Brexit is, season 2017 will hopefully see a more unified UK……and pigs might fly.
2) The villain became a fallen hero
Let’s be honest, David Cameron was not a popular Prime Minister. Under Cameron, the most vulnerable in society became even more vulnerable and as much as ”Call me Dave” tried to be relateable he was so far removed from reality he was in the Matrix. Plot twist! When Cameron resigned after the EU referendum it was actually quite a sad moment. He had bags under his eyes, his wife was teary, it was almost enough to make you forget what an arsehole he’d been over the last few years. It also didn’t help that Boris Johnson had stabbed him in the back by campaigning for leave despite being a remainer in order to further his own political career. It was the type of thing you see on House of Cards.
3) Beloved characters were being written out
Most TV shows/Films/Books see you lose a few favourite characters along the way.Remember when Dobby died in Harry Potter? Or Fry’s dog in Futurarma? 2016 saw many characters sadly being written out: Mohammed Ali, Prince, David Bowie, Carolyn Aherne, Alan Rickman………At a time when audiences needed music, comedy and inspiring figures it was decided that they should be removed.
4) London is closing
Is this a case of dramatic irony? A year later than planned London finally has a 24 hour tube (On Fridays and Saturdays only) which means that the £25 you would normally spend on an uber can go on another single and mixer (London prices lolz). The night has been freed but the script writers have decided to inject some irony in 2016 by closing Fabric. Over the past eight years London has seen half of its clubs close but Fabric marks a dark turn in London’s nightlife. It has been referred to as the heart and soul of London’s nightlife and it is pretty much an institution. However, due to two drug related deaths of two 18 year old patrons nine weeks apart over the summer. Nobody denies the deaths were tragic, but Fabric has ramped up security at events in recent years due to past incidents but the matter of fact is that if people want to take drugs then they will find a way. Of course, there is the popular theory that Islington council wanted to close Fabric in order to build luxury flats, because that’s JUST what will help the housing crisis in London: flats nobody can afford.
Is this the script writers way of setting the scene for further civil unrest in the UK? By taking away their nightclubs so they can’t get blind drunk and forget about the political, social, economic worries hanging over the country? In season 2017, will the dying nightlife spark furious protests? Stay tuned, I guess.
5) Meanwhile in ‘Murica……
It’s not like the UK has been the only to feel the wrath of the scripwriters. The US has had the absolute delight of watching Donald Trump run for President. I mean, the man has no political experience and is proof that all you need to run a Presidential Campaign is a lot of money. I think it’s a complete sham that Donald Trump even has a shot of being the next President of the United States. I know it’s meant to be the land of the free, but you can’t just let every Tom, Dick or Harry run for President just because he or she has a few million/billion pounds in the account. How the hell can Americans justify letting that nutball be the next President but then be up in arms when Obama suggests reforming gun laws because every couple of months there’s a massacre. If Trump does become President then can we trust him not to start World War III? If it does happen, at least we know the UK won’t be taking part as we’ll be too busy in the middle of our own Civil war (I’d like to clairfy that I’m joking, but in all seriousness I would be happy if aliens took control of Planet Earth because we can’t be trusted to look after ourselves)