I’m back in Loughborough for my fourth and final year. I secured a job as a Marketing intern, and I have promised myself that once my contract ends in August next year that I will bid the bubble farewell and move on to, hopefully, London. My new house is nice, it has two bathrooms and a huge garden. However, it also has a high population of spiders and my bedroom appears to be their breeding ground. Now, I’m not lie my Mum who whenever she sees a spider she lets of a blood curling scream and then chases after it and beats it to death with her slipper, but I do feel uncomfortable if they are near me. However, a week of living in my spider dominated house has taught me a few things about the most feared creature on the planet.
1) Insect repellent and a hoover will only achieve so much.
I actually refused to sleep in my room until I had given it a good going over with insect repellent and the hoover. I pretty much marched into my room and declared war on possibly hundreds of spiders by jamming the nozzle of the hoover into every nook and cranny and spraying insect repellent onto every surface like I was possesed. It took a grand total of 24 hours until my eight legged enemies had begun congregating in the corners of my room again. The hoover is handy for sucking up the odd spider you spot that you don’t want to beat to death with a shoe because you are too scared to get that near it, but when you are dealing with a high number of them ou have to accept it is borderline impossible to erradicate them with only Henry the hoover as back up.
2) Removing spiders is a man’s job.
I am all for feminism and gender equality, but I feel no shame in saying that the removal of spiders is a job for the boys. Fortunately, I live with three boys and I all but ordered them into my room on separate occasions to do some spider removal. Once had to stand on my bed and hoover up into the corners and another had to remove the dead ones for me. One of my housemates friends has even offered to get rid of the ones on the space above my door which he will probably regret when I’m begging him every weekend to destroy the common house spider as if it’s not more terrified of me than I am of it.
3) Finding out humans don’t eat eight spiders a year in their sleep helped.
Part of my fear of spiders is down the fact i once read that humans eat eight spiders a year in their sleep. I was literally sat on my bed looking around my room thinking ”Eight spiders a year? I’ll be consuming eight in a night” Fortunately, I decided to google how true this fact was and discovered that it is a bare faced lie made up by someone with no soul who enjoys watching people like me going bonkers hoovering up every spider in sight because they are terrified they will consume them in their sleep. Once I discovered that this ”fact” was a lie I became less bothered about the spiders in my room; once I knew the chances of me digesting them whilst asleep were relatively low I began sleeping much easier and have even allowed a couple to inhabit the corner of my room behind my door.