The stages of job applications

The end of my degree is rapidly approaching and after burying my head in the sand for long enough, the time has finally come for me to begin thinking of life post university. The reality of the fact that my three hours a week of lectures, socials and unhealthy sleeping pattern which altogether mark the closest thing I will ever get to true freedom are coming to an end is a bitter pill to swallow. However, what is even bitterer is the job application process:

 

1) Unwarranted Confidence

As you near the end of your degree, the question of ”What shall I do after three years of frolicking in the world between childhood and adulthood?” becomes ever more pressing. However, after being told bare faced lies by teachers for years ”A degree will guarantee you a degree”, and then after ”You won’t get anywhere without experience!” it is easy to fall into a false sense of confidence as you look at your perfectly crafted C.V. I too fell into this trap as I smugly looked at my four different C.Vs tailored to four different job types thinking ”I’m employable! Who wouldn’t want to employ someone who has interned at two news publications, coordinated sexual health screenings and managed their own blog?”. Quite a lot of people judging by the fact that even the tumbleweed has left my job applications email inbox.

 

2) Confusion

After a period of time, the confidence you feel begins to wane as you begin to wonder what’s wrong with you. It’s almost like the dry spell you get on Tinder when you get no matches whatsoever and you begin questioning your self worth (I’m joking, Tinder isn’t that big a part of my life). However, it is true that after a while you begin going through the job version of a break up as you begin thinking ”What’s wrong with me!? Why does nobody want me!?”. It’s at this point all of your dreams begin to crumble around you as you realise a job and work experience don’t mean shit. 

 

3) Unwarranted anger

The unwarranted anger stage comes as people around you are successful in getting their first job and you are floundering in a sea of job applications and last pieces of coursework and revision. Thus, comes the stress where you have the dilemma of applying jobs and not getting the grade required for jobs or working hard for the grade and not having a job by the time you finish. Fortunately, the bouts of anger don’t last long as this soon gives way to…

4) Sinking into the depths of despair.

Wallowing in self pity is usually the next stage as every day with no news of a rejection or interview feels like taking a bullet, and you do what you swore that you would never do which is sink into a realm of deep despair and begin to acknowledge that those Daily Mail scare stories actually had an element of truth to them. It gets to the point where you even begin considering ringing the Daily Mail up yourself to see if you can be this years scare story, even if it is in the hope that they’ll throw £100 your way for the story.

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