So last week I posted about the dos and don’ts of a Tinder profile, which was aimed at boys in particular. Now, I’ve been on Tinder for the grand total of a week and I’ve seen all sorts of…interesting things on there which prompted me to write another post talking about the dos and don’ts of this little app. I’ve seen everything from men having their profile picture of them smoking a spliff to men proclaiming they will ”bang if picked up”. However, these are the most important things to keep in mind with your Tinder profile:
1) Don’t have a group profile picture.
I know last time I was banging on about how you shouldn’t have a picture of you stood in the mirror taking a selfie on your iphone because it just defeats all logic. However, at the same time do not have your profile picture as a group one because it requires effort. At the end of the day Tinder is basically the laziest dating (a euphenism for ”I wanna quick bang”) app known to mankind; you basically take a look at someone’s profile picture and swipe right or left depending if you like them so don’t be making people play ”Where’s wally?” by putting a group picture up and make people figure out which one is you. People will simply swipe left and move on, and even if they don’t then there’s still possibility they’ll think your mate is you. Ultimately, group photos just makes things more complicated for everyone involved, so don’t do it.
2) Don’t open the conversation with an explicit saying.
So, I was going to post screenshots of some of the things my friends had been sent on Tinder as it has been a bit of a group project over the past week, but quite frankly, I have four deadlines in the next five days and I don’t have time to waste uploading them and then covering the names and pictures on paint (it’s all professional on this blog) so I’m just going to write them out. The best opening lines my friends have received have been ”Get ya fanny out”, ”Hello, anal?” and ”I’ve got a big dick you can play with”. Now, this is ineffective because most girls will ignore you and the rest i.e my friends will troll the hell out of you. The guy who sent ”Get ya fanny out” simply got the reply ”*your”, the male who sent ”Hello, anal?” got ”Yeah, sure I’ll get my strap on” and the one sent ”I’ve got a big dick you can play with”, received ”Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather play with my nice big vibrator” and that was that. I know some people will be sending these opening lines with their mates, but if they receive a rather outrageous reply then it’s most likely come from one of my mates who are fast becoming the trolls of Tinder.
3) Don’t be overzealous
Basically, when I first joined Tinder I wanted to get a range of people which resulted in me swiping right on people for a good two minutes which adds up to a lot of Tinder profiles. Unfortunately, this led to me receiving messages off people who were a little too mature for me, such as a 53 year old man named Gary who sent me a message saying ”Really, Zoe?” and then asked If I like older men. Now, I wasn’t sure how to respond to that because I didn’t want to get into the whole ”I’m just on here looking for fresh material for my blog” so I ignored it. Unfortunately, Gary’s a persistent guy and has sent me daily messages everyday consisting of ”Hi”, ‘Hello, Zoe” to the point where I just ended up blocking him. Bascially, even if you are just on Tinder for research make sure you’re still being selective about who you swipe right on!