Five of my most embarrassing crushes.

I was thinking the other day (always a dangerous thing for me to do) about how I have mentioned many people in this blog without every asking for their permission. Of course, they are protected by the thin veil of anonymity, but I still throw people’s most embarrassing moments into my blog without a care in the world. In fact, after my sports team post the subject of it actually text me saying “I have actually just read that article again. hahahahahahaha FUCKKK''when the realisation finally dawned upon her that I had broadcast her dry spell to all my Facebook friends and followers on Twitter. It doesn't seem particularly fair that I mention so many people's embarrassing moments but refrain from embarrassing myself; so I present to you the list of the most embarrassing crushes I have ever had. I admitted one of these crushes in Edinburgh last summer, and I was absolutely torn apart for it. Anyway, to make things fair, here's the list:

1) Gordon Brown

Even Gordon thinks me writing this post is a mistake.

Even Gordon thinks me writing this post is a mistake.

I admitted that I used to have a crush on him in Edinburgh after a few too many glasses of wine, which came before I said I thought Meryl Streep was quite hot when she played Margaret Thatcher (No homo), and it haunted me for the duration of my stay. Apparently, it is weird for a nineteen year girl to think a married fifty odd year old is kind of hot, but I think it was the power (M.O.N.E.Y) that I found attractive!? Fortunately, it didn’t bother me that much as my friends back home had already ridiculed me to within an inch of my life saying things like ”HE HAS A LAZY EYE!”, and my only response to that is, I don’t just go for looks.

2) Hercules

Gotta love a man with curtains.

Gotta love a man with curtains.


This is the most worrying crush I’ve ever had because I must have been about eight at the time. I think this crush developed because I had a love of horses and I used to imagine that I was Xena (as you do). The only thing I can say that’s good about this crush is that I didn’t dream about him rescuing me like I was a damsel in distress, because I was always imagined myself as a warrior princess (Cringe).

3) David Suchet as Poirot

More hair under his nose than on his head.

More hair under his nose than on his head.


I don’t like detective dramas, but whenever my Dad puts Poirot on I find my eyes glued to the screen. Maybe it’s the fact he always looks so polished, maybe it’s the little moustache, but all I know is that when I discovered he had Twitter I had never clicked on follow so fast.

4) Trevor Mcdonald

A man who can make reading the Dictionary erotic (possibly)

A man who can make reading the Dictionary erotic (possibly)


This is another crush which was elicited from me after a few too many drinks, but thankfully, one of my friends agreed with me on this. Obviously. I have an interest in media so the fact he’s a successful journalist definitely interests me, but bizzarely when I confessed this I said it was because I could imagine him reading the Dictionary to me before bed – how romantic. Either way, he’s on the list.

5) Nick Clegg.

Watching the last of his self respect disappear.

Watching the last of his self respect disappear.


Yes, I was one of those people who got Clegg fever during the last general election. How could I not!? He told people what they wanted to hear and his constituency was Sheffield, it would have been a crime not to! Sadly, due to the fact he squatted over his policies and took a big dump all over them and subsequently my crush, making me look back on Cleggy in embarrassment.

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