Some of you may be aware that I have now finished second year and have now been turned out to grass for four months by my tutors. Unfortunately, the rest of the Loughborough population who are not doing Arts based subjects have three weeks worth of exams, and exam season officially started when I was handing in my last piece of coursework for the year. Understandably, I have been threatened with slaps, had my degree mocked (nothing new there) and generally been viewed in the same light as the devil himself, all because I have been walking around with a smile on my face whilst everyone has a face of misery, and have tweeted about my three hour naps and how I’m going to watch Mean Girls.
I did used to have exams,however, and I have a vague memory of what it was like to be stressing about revision and trying to combat pre exam nerves (I burst into tears right before my gcse maths exam) so in a bid to offer some solace to those chained to their desks for the next three weeks, I am offering some tips on how to make revision more fun.
1) Have fun with legal highs.
About two to three weeks before their first exam people go into hiding. Everybody turns down the offer of a night out because they cannot afford to wake up the next morning feeling like they are about to give birth through their head when they have stacks of lecture notes to get through. Alcohol is pretty much eradicated from their life and they instead turn to junk food because A) They don’t have time to shower let alone cook and B) The amount of work they have to do makes them want to eat their feelings.
Another thing that is included into people’s diets is Pro Plus and energy drinks for those mammoth all nighters and if you want some recreational fun that won’t have you bedridden the next day and won’t get you arrested then I advice you turn to these two stimulants. I once had a very interesting experience on Pro Plus and energy drinks when I was working in the library from 3 o clock in the afternoon till 7:00am the next day. I got loads of work done, but when I left the library the next day I felt like I was walking on clouds and when I dropped a book I was laughing for a good five minutes. Saying that, I may have just temporarily lost my marbles due to working on a linguistic essay all night.
2) Imagine the fate of humanities students when they graduate.
I tweeted this earlier, but this will make revsion enjoyable for many of you, imagine where all those smug and pretentious English students will be six months after they graduate. They won’t be the next J K Rowling or covering ground breaking stories in The Times; they won’t even be teaching primary school children the alphabet because the vast majority of them will have refused to apply for a PGCE because they will have been convinced that Fleet street was theirs for the taking.
No, instead they will be down the local job centre quoting the works of the literary cannon in a bid to make themselves feel better about the fact they are on benefits and the closest they got to Fleet street was typing it out an a job application letter which was made into a paper plane which flew straight into the bin.Yes, they may be enjoying their six hours a week now, alongside their two week ”reading weeks” which always result in them sleeping all day and partying all night, but they’ll regret their degree choice when the real world chews them up and spits them back out. If that doesn’t make your revision more enjoyable then I don’t know what will.
3) Try and make it sexual.
There is a rule that I apply to any essay I write and it is ”If in doubt, take the sexual interpretation route”. Now, I know this is difficult for some subjects like engineering where you can’t exactly start writing about how the parts of a car resemble certain areas of the human anatomy but you can apply it to revision.When it comes to remembering the names of certain theorists, psychologists etc etc try and liken their name to something which is vaguely rude, even if it is basic toilet humour; When arranging key points try and arrange them so they make a memorable word. I know this all sounds really juvenile, but since Loughborough recently had a ”Rate Your Shag” page I think it is clear significant proportion of the student body enjoy being really immature when it comes to sex, so I’m just catering for the majority’s taste.
4) Get enough sleep
This is age old advice, but I cannot stress how important sleep is. On Loughborough’s ”Spotted” page someone was whinging about someone talking too loudly when they were trying to revise for an exam the next day. This post was posted at 2:00 am and all I could think was ”You must be out of your mind if you are revising at 2:00 am for an exam you have later on that day”. I once revised into the early hours for an A level exam I had that afternoon and I felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings for the entire day, and I’m not even exaggerating. It makes more sense to get an early night and get up early to do last minute revision than it does to go to bed late. This is something which applies to essays as well, because I recently wrote an essay during the night and when I read over it the next day I had spelled the authors name in three different ways. Revision will be much more bearable if you don’t feel the need to sellotape your eyes open.
5) Try to fit some fruit and veg into your diet.
There is a saying that goes ”You are what you eat” and having resided in the pilkington numerous times over exam season I can safely say that many people should be either a Domino’s pizza or a container full of egg fried rice from the local Rising Sun. We all stop caring about ourselves when we have a load of work due in which ranges from what we wear to what we eat, but you feel so much better when you haven’t eaten your body weight in pizza. Even eating a banana will make you feel better when revising, and you can have the added enjoyment of making people feel uncomfortable as you eat one.