Some of you may or may not be aware of the fact that I recently made a trip to Wallingford, for some work experience. Being from the Yorkshire Moors, it took me some time to get there (at one point I felt like I was making a journey to Middle Earth), and I have seen enough of public transport to last me till forever. However, I did notice some areas of weakness on public transport that I wild like taken care of, in case I ever needs to use it again.
1)TVs on trains
This will not come as particularly revolutionary to those who are fortunate enough to travel on Great Western trains. However, to those who frequent East Midlands trains this is an idea more far fetched than the idea of David Cameron having a heart rather than a stone swinging on a bit of worn out string.
My train from Reading to London had televisions installed in the seats. I was at first suspicious, convinced that somehow I would be made to pay to watch, and then delighted. I had a great time watching Jamie Oliver’s Feastival and learning how to make jerk chicken with Levi Roots. On my train from London to Sheffield,however, the only thing I got to watch was the nauseating couple sat opposite me. This is not right, and I demand that East Midlands trains sort this out, immediately.
2) A sing-along-to-your-iPod coach
On my train from Sheffield to London, I distracted myself from the nauseating couple sat opposite me by going through the back catalogue of some of the artists on my iPod, inbetween pretending to be asleep so I didn’t have to look at them. It was at the halfway point of Nirvana’s ”lithium” that I really wanted to stand up and serenade the entire of coach D on the 20:55 East Midlands train from London to Sheffield.
It was also at this point I realised that trains need a sing-along-to-your-iPod coach, where people can spend their journeys power ballading along to Mariah’s greatest hits, or sit rapping along to Jay Z; feeling like an like an absolute God when they stay in time with him AND get all the words right.
3) A compartment where you can smile at people
The London underground is something that always fascinates me; everyone on the tube has a face like they have stepped in some dog shit. As a northener, I’m used to people striking up conversations with me on public transport so travelling in London where people barely look at you is an experience.
I always find that whenever I’m on the tube I have a massive urge to smile at people, but friends have warned me not to smile at people in London, because they will think that I’m either going to mug them or I’m insane. As a result I often spend my time on the tube fighting my urge to smile, and as I result I probably end up with a facial expression to rival Mr Bean’s.Regardless, I still think it would be nice if tubes had a smiling compartment, because sometimes you are just in a good mood and just want to smile at people without them thinking you are going to whip out a kitchen knife.
4) Buses that announce the upcoming stop.
In some areas, buses will announce what stop is coming up. They don’t have these buses in Sheffield, and the first time i remember encountering them was in Loughborough (which gives you an idea of how primitive Sheffield is).
On my way to Wallingford, I had no idea what stop to get off at, and without google maps on my phone I’d probably still be lost and this is because my bus wasn’t an announcer bus. Regardless, I think it should me made law that all buses announce what stop is coming up, so people can spend their journey chilling instead of panicking about whether they have missed their stop.
5) Electric chair seats.
I reserved a sear on my train from Reading to London because I didn’t know how busy the train would be, and I didn’t fancy standing for half an hour when I knew I was going to be travelling from five through to eleven. When I got on my train, I found my seat was already occupied even though it clearly had a ticket sticking out saying “reserved”.
Now, luckily the train had loads of spare seats, and my reserved seat was a table seat and I was more than happy to give up my seat because I had spotted the Tvs on the non table seats. However, I don’t understand why someone would take a seat that is CLEARLY reserved when there are loads of other seats available. Consequently, I think seats should give electric shocks to people who try and take seats they have not reserved. I don’t know how this would work, but if you can’t be bothered to reserve a seat, or you take a reserved seat when there are plenty of other free seats, then you deserve to get your butt singed.