Apologies in advance for the fact that this is the second negative blog post in a row, I won’t blog again unless it’s cheerful.
You may or may not know, but I’m a big believer in karma and I believe recent events have seen me get some karma that’s a year overdue. When someone loses a loved one, it’s often difficult to know how exactly how to react; you can send condolences and offer to be there, and then what? They never ask for your time so you assume everything is fine and carry on, and I was the same last year.
This year karma has come back around, and got me. My initial reaction was to crawl into bed and hide under my duvet. However, I made the decision to stay at university and attempt to carry on as normally as possible because here I have something of a routine, and to an extent it worked. Due to the Exec elections at university, I’ve thrown myself into helping The Epinal cover them, and also assist on one of the campaigns. Unfortunately, I also made myself ill in the process which meant forcing myself to stop doing so much, and taking it easy for a couple of days.
The consequence has been me left with a feeling of acute loneliness. I was so busy earlier in the week that I didn’t see half of my friends, and now I’ve finally slowed down most of them have gone home for the weekend, and the rest I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve been acting relatively normal so they have assumed I’m fine, but now I’ve stopped being busy and thus have time to reflect on things I feel less than fine.
It certainly feels like an act of Karma, because even though I try and support people there are times when I’ve failed in the past and I feel like how I currently feel is my comeuppance for that. Either way, this week was destined to go badly, and this has been proven by home I’m ill and blogging on a Friday night, but I’m still tentatively holding onto the thought that ”the only way is up”.