How to survive Valentine’s day if you are single.

As I’ve mentioned before, Valentine’s day seems to make the most rational person go a bit loopy if they aren’t in a relationship. This, I decided to make a little survival guide for all the singletons preparing to face the day of love alone. There’s not much advice I can give to those who are in a relationship apart from buy a decent card, go to a decent restaurant, and for the sake of everyone sleeping alone on the fourteenth, make sure you get some:

1) Write yourself a card

Writing myself a Valentine's day card: on a scale of one to cat lady, how single am I?

Writing myself a Valentine’s day card: on a scale of one to cat lady, how single am I?

If you really want a card so badly, then write yourself one! I know it sounds sad, and I was made aware of this when my friend called me ”tragic” when I informed him I was going to write myself a Valentine’s day card. However, I think it’s a good reminder that it’s important to love yourself as a person. Of course, it would be nice if we all had someone to give us a cute card, but we shouldn’t start having emotional breakdowns simply because we haven’t received a mass produced card that cost less then a pound.

2) Stay off social networking sites

Your newsfeed on the 14th.

Your newsfeed on the 14th.

Stay off Facebook/Twiiter etc if you are feeling vulnerable because all the pictures being uploaded by the girls of the flowers they have received will make you feel as if you’ve been transported to the Chelsea flower show. This will depress you and make you want to crawl into your wardrobe and cry because you have nobody to give you a bunch of Tesco’s carnations that die within a week. Social networking sites make us all feel inferior at some point, but if you are a vulnerable single then I beg you to avoid the internet for a day.

3) Stop wishing death upon every happy couple you see.

Don't hate them because you have a meal for one.

Don’t hate them because you have a meal for one.

Yes, seeing the restaurants rammed with couples may make you want to throw a brick through the window as you walk past clutching your Marks and Spencer’s meal for one, but it’s not their fault is it? It’s not their fault that they managed to find someone who was willing to buy them a tacky card and take them out for an Italian all in the name of consumerist bullshit. Instead take your meal for one and go home safe in the knowledge that in the age of Tinder and casual sex, love still exists.

4) Treat your single friends.

Spooning: What friends are made for.

Spooning: What friends are made for.

I’m a strong believer in karma, and I think if you are that desperate to get a date on Valentine’s then you should generate some good karma. Send all of your single friends a Valentine’s day card and cook a meal together before watching a chick flick whilst painting each other’s nails (Yes, this applies to males also). At the end of the day, the people who have a Valentine this year may not have one next year, but your friends will always be there to drink alcohol with you and give you a cheeky spoon in bed.

5) Only go out if you are in the right frame of mind.

Crying at the bar: we've all been there.

Crying at the bar: we’ve all been there.

If you’re upset about being single, then going out and drinking your body weight in tequila is the perfect recipe for disaster (and tears). Feeling lonely and being drunk means you’ll end up finding solace in the embrace of the nearest stranger who will look like a Greek God (or Goddess) whilst you have your beer goggles firmly attached to your face, but who may look more……earthly the next morning. Consequently, only go out if you are in the right frame of mind/you want to get laid, and enter the club knowing that that almost everyone in the room is single and looking for some loving. This means your chances of you bringing home the bacon have NEVER been higher.


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