Why I hate Valentine’s day.

So I just about managed to survive January, but now I’m faced with lent (bye bye booze) and Valentine’s day which is not helping my mood at all. However, I don’t dislike Valentine’s day because I’m one of those bitter singles, because I don’t think I am bitter, but Valentine’s day is kind of annoying, and here’s why:

1) The couples will piss you off regardless.

PDAS; Kill it, kill it with fire.

PDAS; Kill it, kill it with fire.

Couples on Valentine’s day normally fall into two camps: the over the top slushy ones and the ones who hate it. The slushy ones are the cretins who’ll leave sickening Facebook statuses all day, and then the girl will put up pictures of whatever her boyfriend got her with the caption “Awwh! Thank you so much baby!”. How about you thank him in private instead of broadcasting it on Facebook? Then you have the couples who hate it, and they are equally annoying. I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating Valentine’s day if you are in a couple, and I think you should! If you are in a happy relationship then give each other presents and go for a meal! Just don’t go OTT.

2) The singles will piss you off.

What single girls will be crying into on the 14th.

What single girls will be crying into on the 14th.

I say couples are annoying on Valentine’s day, but singles are the worst bit; I can guarantee if you are on any social networking site you will see at least one person whining about how they are alone. February 14th turns many rational people into emotional wrecks just because they do not have anyone to give an overpriced card to, and it’s ridiculous and they need to get a grip.

3) Going out is not an option.

What your local nightclub will become.

What your local nightclub will become.

Going out on Valentine’s day is guaranteed to be a hassle, because restaurants will be full of couples gazing at each other over a candle; clubs turn into fully fledged meat markets as drunk, lonely single people throw themselves at the nearest human with a pulse. The safest (and sanest) thing you can do is stay in, make a cup of tea and wait for it to all blow over.

4) There’s no equivalent for the singles.

All you need alongside wine and friends (not at the same time)

All you need alongside wine and friends (not at the same time)

I appreciate the sentiment of Valentine’s day; it’s about celebrating love. However, where is the day for the singles? Where is the card saying “I love me”, or “I don’t have a man, but I have friends, wine and a rampant rabbit” or “It’s my one year anniversary and I’ve never been happier”. We need to empower the singles! Because if you think about it, the only real benefit couples get from a relationship is regular sex (there, I said it).

5) It’s such a bad time of the year

What I'm going to wear on the fourteenth.

What I’m going to wear on the fourteenth.

I think I would be more supportive of Valentine’s day if it was in the summer, because February is not a great month; you’ve just finished exams, it gets dark early and it’s cold. Basically, it’s a reminder you have nobody to spoon you. However, I shall be combatting this, because this year I will be buying myself a card, before having a romantic dinner with my friend and then we may end the night by spooning one another (no homo), I suggest all singles do something similar.


One thought on “Why I hate Valentine’s day.

  1. Pingback: How to NOT suck at Valentine’s Day!!!!! | ChurinDUH

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