Things I thought when I was ill.

So yesterday I contracted the noro virus which I’d never heard of until I caught it and by that point all I could think was “I don’t want to be alive anymore”. I don’t get ill very often and even when I do it’s usually just the case of having a headache and feeling a bit shivery, and the symptoms usually subside within a few hours. However, the nerovirus introduced me to a whole new level of illness that I would like to share with you by telling you about some of the thoughts I had during that very difficult day:

1) ”Have I eaten something dodgy?”

Can-Sleep-Deprivation-Cause-Hallucinations

At around 2:00am I was lying in bed desperately trying to get to sleep, but I couldn’t because an overwhelming sense of nausea had grabbed hold of me. I must have been tossing and turning for a good hour trying to lose the feeling of being sick before the next thing I knew my Mum was running into my room saying “Oh no Zoe, you’ve got it too!”. However, I was in complete denial about contracting the virus and assumed that I must have eaten something dodgy, but I then realised that I spent all of first year cooking for myself without managing to give myself food poisoning so the likelihood of my Dad (an experienced cook) managing to mess up a roast was highly unlikely.

2) ”I think that’s the worst of it”

thumb-passsedoutdrunk

After my Mum ordered me into the bathroom, I laid on the floor telling her “I think that’s it, I don’t think I’ll be sick again”. Talk about a case of famous last words, because I was sick again, in fact I was sick non stop for the next ten hours. My friend said that she’d have been crying the whole way through, and I’m going to be honest with you: I was crying like a new born baby, which brings me to my next point….

3) “I’m not pregnant, am I?”

No matter how certain you are, you always imagine yourself in this position very briefly.

No matter how certain you are, you always imagine yourself in this position very briefly.

At around seven in the morning my Mum called the paramedics because I was barely staying conscious, and one of the questions i remember them asking me was “Are you pregnant?”. Now, I think most girls know that no matter WHAT illness you have, you are always asked the pregnancy question and not matter how certain you are as you reply “No”, you still wonder if there’s the slightest chance that there could be a foetus clinging to your womb. I don’t know whether the fever had a part to play in this but I began imagining I was Bella from Twilight and that I had this vampire baby inside of me tearing up my insides – it was unenjoyable.

4) ”I can’t be ill for seven days”

The point when you don't know whether you're crying about your illness or the hours in the library you are missing out on.

The point when you don’t know whether you’re crying about your illness or the hours in the library you are missing out on.

As much as I wondered whether I was going to die (and part of me was contemplating smothering myself with a pillow), I knew I wasn’t when I heard the paramedics say ”It can last for up to seven days” and my immediate thought was ”I can’t be ill for seven days, I have deadlines!”. Yes, even when I was lying in bed unable to keep water down my immediate thoughts when faced with the prospect of being ill for seven days went straight to my essays and the possibility I’d be out of action till five days prior to my deadline was enough to make me cry (although I was already crying from pain).

5) ”I hate life”

How I looked, except I wasn't wearing make-up and actually looked ill.

How I looked, except I wasn’t wearing make-up and actually looked ill.


By the afternoon I was managing to retain fluids but I was still bedridden for the rest of the day, and there’s nothing more depressing lying in bed for more than 24 hours. I couldn’t read because my eyes ached, and the one time I did venture out of bed I was bent over double like someone had shot me in the stomach, so I spent the rest of the day in bed alternating between feeling red hot and shivering: it was one of the worst days of my life. It really wasn’t a Happy New Year for me.

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