Why I love males.

My last post regarding what the world would be like if men could get pregnant sparked a mini outrage from some males saying it was ”stupid and sexist”, and in fairness, they had a point. Now I’m not sexist, but I do realise that many of my posts have had a ”Who run the world? GIRLS!” vibe to them, so I’ve decided to put my feminist megaphone down and tell you some of the reasons why I love males:

1) They are nice to sleep with.

A hot water bottle: what frequents my bed the most.

I don’t necessarily mean in a sexual way, but I spend a lot of time spooning my hot water bottle or whichever female friend will let me under her sheets (no homo). Eventually you start missing sharing a bed with a male which is much more fun, and there’s something much more intimate about it. When I’ve shared a bed with any of my female friends they tend to push me away when I unconsciously try and spoon them, and most of the time it’s been after nights out so I usually end up curled up in the foetal position at the edge of the bed because I feel a bit sick and I wake up to tonnes of notifications on my phone as they frape me after I’ve fallen asleep.

2) They do nice things like offer to walk you home.

What happens when you cock block someone.

Whenever someone offers to walk me home after nights out etc I usually refuse because I clearly have no sense of danger, and just tend to think ”I’ll be fine!”. However, it’s always nice when a male offers to do things like that as it shows that A) They are a gentleman and B) They don’t want you to get dragged down some dark alley. I’ve even been walked home by someone (who I’d just met) who I was arguing with because I had inadvertently cock blocked him on his birthday so the conversation we had when walking back was me calling him a shark and him moaning I’d ruined his chance of getting birthday sex. However, even as he stomped off after ensuring I’d got back inside, I did think it was sweet he’d walked me back after I had accidently ensured that he’d be spending the night alone.

3) They say what they mean.

How complex men are.

There are whole books dedicated to trying to decipher how the male mind works, but as Samantha in ”Sex and the city” says ”Men aren’t that complicated, they’re kinda like plants”. Now I’m not saying men have the IQ of a Rose Bush, but as you get older you realise males generally say what they mean and there’s no hidden messages to decipher. Girls generally are a lot more complicated than boys and this is why we can spend hours analysing one really insignificant detail when really there’s nothing to analyse.

4) They have nice bodies.

The face I tend to pull when I see a nice male stomach.

I once had a female friend discuss penis’ with me and she said ”Sometimes I have to look away to stop myself from laughing….when I’m in that situation”, but I think males are generally quite nice to look at. I know I’m quite vocal about my girl crushes but I have yet to find a greater pleasure in life than encountering a nice male stomach. Female bodies are nice and feminine, and they are lovely to look at but there’s something about the strength of a male body that is keeping me heterosexual.

5) They don’t mind if you’re a bit of a lesbian.

Rihanna: males tend to enjoy it if you’re vocal about your love for her.

In the vast majority of cases, males love it if you unleash your inner lesbian; they don’t seem to mind if you spend time googling pictures of Rihanna in a bid to prove how hot she is. I’m not really sure why most males enjoy hearing about girl’s girl crushes, maybe it’s the fact you can both appreciate the female form together or maybe it’s because it signifies to them you’re not too uptight; whatever it is, it’s nice to be able to indulge in girl crushes without worrying whether the other person is wondering whether I’m going to come onto them.


One thought on “Why I love males.

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