Halloween Special: How to survive Halloween THE NIGHT.

It’s a mere three days till Halloween so I hope you have all your costumes ready! I’m so excited about the fact I’ve been on the ball this year and got my costume sorted. My last few posts were about surviving the potential horrors that could make their way to you this Halloween, but this post is about to survive the night itself:

1) If you are being a Halloween Scrooge, then turn your lights off.

The local kids took not getting their Halloween treats badly.

I was talking to my Mum on the phone the other day and she mentioned that she’s staying in this Halloween with the lights off; the key thing here is the fact she’ll be having the lights down low. If you’re planning on staying in this Halloween without arming yourself with sweets to rot the local kids teeth with then make sure your curtains are closed and it looks like you’re not home, because kids will essentially see you as the anti
christ for not giving them food that will raise their chances of getting diabetes and may egg or silly string your door.

2) If you’re wearing a daring costume then accept you’re going to hell.

Not scary or blasphemous but still going to hell.

When I say daring, I’m not just talking about the provocative nurse outfits, but anything that could be seen as a little blasphemous or generally offensive. Of course, any of us participating in Halloween are probably going to go to hell, especially if we’re dancing around in promiscuous outfits and drinking, but if you’re going out dressed as Bin Laden then you’re probably going to go to a worse part of hell then the girl wearing the witches costume.

3) Don’t start doing Ouija boards or anything

This is what will happen to you if you mess with Ouija boards.

As we’ve seen in horror movies, around Halloween some people lose all of their common sense and start messing around with things that they have no need to be anywhere near. If your friends think it’s a great idea to start messing around with ouija boards on Halloween (or anytime of the year, but especially Halloween) then you need to put as much distance between yourself and them as possible. If my friend came into the room with a Ouija board then I would be climbing out of the window, because I don’t know about you but I enjoy sleeping soundly at night without the fear of being dragged out of my bed, out of my room and down the corridor by my feet.

4) Remember, if you pissed anyone off then this may be your last night alive.

A night watching romcoms with your friend, and you may survive.

I mentioned in my serial killers post that if you bullied anyone etc in the past then Halloween may be when your number is up. If you want to survive this then make sure you’re not out drinking at a party but sat in a room with your friends watching soppy romcoms; ensure all doors are locked and if you hear a noise in the house then pray it’s not karma coming back to get you in the shape of a serial killer.

5) Think twice before going home with someone.

Nobody needs to be doing a walk of shame in an outfit like this.

If you’re out partying on Halloween then there are numerous reasons why you should be careful about taking going home with someone for a night of fun. The first reason is because it’s Halloween and they may be a serial killer, but the second reason is because if you’re out in a Halloween costume, then the next morning you have to go back home in the same costume. If you’re dressed as a witch in a black dress then you can probably get away with it, but if you’re dressed as nurse with fake blood splattered all over you then think about how you’ll feel the next morning when you realise you’ve got to somehow get back to yours in the same outfit (a little embarrassed, I presume).


One thought on “Halloween Special: How to survive Halloween THE NIGHT.

  1. Pingback: Halloween, the most playful time of year « Mental Flowers

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